so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
