just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
