Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
