This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
