When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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