hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
