I understand Curling. That high.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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