I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
