she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Girls should come with a carfax report
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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