I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
