: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
