my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
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the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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