I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
