you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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