There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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