were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
