haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
