you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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