Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
