I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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