I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
yea but for you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????