Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex