kristin has been a bad kristin
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
