I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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