haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
