im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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