Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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