I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
