im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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