her vagine was all disorganized.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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