this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
