i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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