That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize