It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
