I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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