we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
