All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
