Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
