Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
