it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
