i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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