he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize