If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
