glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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