I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
