Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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