Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
