I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
