Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
