Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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