i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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