So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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