Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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