I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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