On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
