a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
