Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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