is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
