Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
