I like my sex mixed with concussions.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Where is the hickey?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
