You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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